Who am I, anyway?!  It is strange to really look at yourself in the mirror and try to figure it all out.  This multi-fasited personality, all the strange facial expressions, the simple, little quirks that nobody but those closest to me pick up on.  The idiosyncrasies.  My grandmother’s earlobes.  The mood swings between my mother and father’s personalities.

It is amazing how we all keep a handle on the many different “I am’s” hanging out in our minds at all times.  Every personality, ready to perform it’s duty right when the situation calls for it.  The expressions that go along with that particular personalty, and my mother’s voice clearly making itself known in a slightly haunting way.

How and why did I pick these particular traits?  They have all served me and have worked against me throughout my life experiences.  I’ve offended a few more than I’d like to admit, thanks to my dad’s obscene sense of humor.  I have lost jobs over my mom’s quick wit and edgy ability to talk down to a supervisor.  On the flip side, I have entertained more than I have offended and I have come a long way as a leader and soon to be business owner, all thanks to these traits that my parents have bestowed upon me.  Thanks to my genes, like my Aunt Leona, I have to pencil my eyebrows in everyday (the redheads in the family do not have eyebrows).  Thanks to my Aunt Edna I have a wicked witches cackle for a laugh, but I have been told it is a contagious cackle.  When I am debating global political or economic conditions I scrunch my forehead and contort my face in to the most sincere “eat shit” glare that I picked up from my brother.

Over time, I realized that it was not the traits individually that was the problem, but rather the way I use them collectively.  I have been practicing my entire life and continue to work towards perfecting my delivery.  The way I synchronize my actions, the tone and pace of my voice, and the look in my eyes.  In one instant I have the look of my dad’s eyes when he’s telling a hilarious story about what it was like growing up with 12 siblings in North Dakota.  And then suddenly I have the look of my mom’s eyes when she is offering some kind and sound advice.  When I orchestrate my communication skills in proper fashion, I have found that the catch phrases of past friends and lovers become very effective in getting my point across.

So who am I and where did my “I am” come from?… It came from all the beautiful people that have crossed my path.  It came from both nature and nurture.  And I am thankful for the people who made me who I am. 🙂

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